Believing in yourself is Freakish and I Love You For It

Believing in yourself is ridiculous and unfeasible. It’s unpopular and ludicrous.

Believing in yourself is what you’re told to do by every wellbeing motivational coach out there.

Believing in yourself is the last thing society really wants you to do.

Ever met someone who believes in themselves and their right to decide how they live? It sounds painful.

If your ideal life doesn’t look like a recognisable, common, typical form of ideal life, you’re seen as crazy…and maybe you are. If you weren’t, then why are your dreams and desires so out there and idiosyncratic? Why aren’t your goals easily distillable into a digestible and simple theme? Why don’t they make sense to everyone else?

If you’re someone who goes against the curve, who doesn’t want children, who doesn’t drink who doesn’t have a traditional job, who decided on a new religion, who choses a non-traditional relationship, or doesn’t want a relationship… You’re not only going to be misunderstood, but you’re going to be fought against.

For everyone who recognises your unique right to decide your life, there’s 11 more people who never even considered that they could decide their own lives, let alone that you can. Maybe their truest desire really was a traditional happy ending, then againt, maybe the divorce stats tell a different story about what really makes us happy.

Those 11 life-deprived people will actively fight you, challenge you, question you. No matter how small or seemingly trivial your choice is, how little it affects you, there will be a time when you get challenged on it…Case in point: “Wow, you should grow your hair long!” – as said to any girl with a bob since the 1920s.

Anyway, I’m just here to say that you are crazy, and there is no help.

Lol, jk! (Kinda).

You still have people who will get you. Not everyone is an obstacle, and even if only you truly understand you, other people can still be supportive and show you your value. You’re not ever going to be truly alone, even when it feels like you are.

This isn’t meant to be a cheesy post.

I’m just really stuck by how weird and rare it is to actually be following your dreams, or even know you have them, or deserve to follow them.

It’s so much easier to believe that your dream is only to go on holidays. I really wish people would realise they are worth more than that. YOLO isn’t just an outdated meme, it’s a fact. And living your dream is an active, difficult choice every day. It takes commitment, and risk, and determination, and it deserves more respect and less wild glamorisation. Our choices deserve more respect, and room to breathe.

We need to stop treating actually living as an exception, only for the strong willed. Yes, it’s a tough concept. You need to realise that your life is finite, commit to exploring and loving your unique self to the death, and then actually take effort every day to remain present and grounded in that goal to make your full life into a reality you are proud of.

But it doesn’t mean only some people can do it! It’s tough, but it should be easier! We could learn to truly value our diversity. We could embrace the finite nature of our existence, and the fire it puts underneath us, the clarity it grants you.

We wouldn’t tolerate a 40 year career based on full working weeks in offices if we were living life to the the full and embraced mortality!

We’d be ripping the offices down and building soup kitchens for the whole city to share.

Next time you go to work, if you’re lucky enough to have a job in the economy, remember that. You’re worth more. You’re worth everything that you want in life, even if that doesn’t seem to be on offer right now, even if you can’t truly comprehend what would make you happy yet, you’re still worth it.

You deserve to find out what you love, and to fight for it, no matter who you are.

Dreams are not only about being rich or famous, and they are not only for the rich and famous. If your dream is a flat with cute plants and a nice desk, you deserve it. If it’s something wild and esoteric that doesn’t quite make sense and can’t be summarised, go for it!

You might be crazy, but life will be crazy anyway. You might as well live it, and give it your best shot. I want you to show up, and be here.

Be crazy. Be crazy every day. I love your crazy, I’ll fight to the death for your right to your crazy, and you need to fight for it too.

Believe in yourself, like it’s a really hard job that’s worth doing, cos you deserve it.


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